another theory
by rain is not always wet
Summary: Prussia saved HRE from the battle field bla, bla, bla and he grew up to be Germany and had amnesia from due to his injury or whatsoever. where's the fun in that? here's a story where france is more related and prussia is just as awesome! second theory!
1. Chapter 1

**HRE, PRUSSIA, GERMANY… AND FRANCE?**

Long, long ago...

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When the world was still young...

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Europe is filled with pedophiles...

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Or rather... that's what France keep saying..

_**France: Oui! Its true non?**_

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...

_**France: ?**_

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So... the pedos can be classified _*cough*francereference*cough* _into a few categories..

The greedy pedos *coughenglandcough*, the more-of-a-piano-maniac-than-a-pedo pedos (its piano and mariazell related, guess), the bubbly and blunt pedos (tomato and Italian fetishes are bonus), the I'm-too-awesome-to-admit-that-I'm-a-pedo pedos and the famous FRANCE...

…and we don't need to discuss why the FRANCE is in caps…

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Now that we are done with the intro, let's get going with the stories…

Despite being well known, (or more likely it is _because_ he is well known) France is lacking a child to … uuuhh… 'express his love' ... yeahh..

Having to lose his luck on the Italians… France was brooding somewhere when he met with a certain blonde chibi with blue eyes..

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Yes.. it is the holy roman empire…

Then, France then managed to beat HRE in a war and killed him…

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Which is not true..

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Because he actually kidnapped him….

And I'll let your imagination to fly from here…

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For some weird reason, a certain Prussian declared that he was too awesome for any kind of secret, and so, he was the only person to know about France's not-so-top-secret secret..

And for an even weirder reason, Prussia doesn't seem to make a fuss about it…

And for his own arrogant god-knows-what reason… this led to having HIM lead the troops in the franco-prussian war after leaving HRE with France for a very, _very _long time….

_**Prussia: I'm so awesome that I made a reeaal good suspense and heroic action at the same time..**_

_..._

But the truth is, Prussia took a long time with his brothers to decide on who should take the lead…

They finally made up their mind with scissor paper rock…

_**Prussia: they all should realize that the awesome me will **__always__**take the lead!**_

…

Prussia and his brothers took an even_ longer_ time in preparing the Mario, Luigi and that monster thingy costumes.. and all that is just for kicks..

_**Prussia: we even sent France and west their**__**costumes.. but they didn't wear it..**_

_**France: so it was you who sent me that dress prusse?**_

_**England: told you its not me you bloody frog! You owe 10 pounds!**_

_**Prussia: HELL NO! that dress was made for west!**_

….

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The German brothers beat the crap out of France and saved their beloved baby brother.. France bribed them with cash to keep his secret (5 billion francs to be exact), in which the German brothers happily accepted to get some good beer..

It never occurred to them that they had left their little brother _way_ too long with France when they were met with the fact that France had transformed him into a pervert… *cough**cough*

Calmly, they used their modern scientific knowledge to brainwash him… which involved hitting his head with a barrel of beer…

_**France: ….**_

_**Prussia: hey, I awesomely made sure it was a barrel of awesomely**__good__**beer!**_

…

However, they had overdid it and thus… bring us to the current boring, stoic Germany with amnesia.. Being blamed for, Prussia tried to kick back sense to Germany but was only successful in things that is beer, potato and wrust related..

And seriously, Prussia don't even know how he got his strange affection towards dogs…

This theory also could explain why Germany is taller than Prussia (not that it matters though). Although being FRANCE, France made good food and so, Germany got a balanced nutrient while he waited for his brothers to come and save him. Prussia on the other hand, had lack of proper nutrients and was raised by beer loving brothers (who knows since when did he start drinking)

Also, Germany is obviously trying (unsuccessfully) hiding his closet pervertness that now we knew where he inherited it from….


	2. Chapter 2:long version

**This one is longer than I expected...**

**Warning.. a few cursing words..**

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**ITS A MAD, MAD WORLD...**

Long, long ago...

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When the world was still young...

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All the Europians are mad...

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Now... who said that?

**HRE: Its true! Somebody, please! believe me!**

**Germania: that's enough young man...**

**HRE: but... but... Opa!**

**Rome: don't worry little rome~ nobody is gonna harm you~**

**Napoleon: yeah... don't worry...**

**HRE: STAY AWAY FROM ME!**

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... lets pretend we just didn't hear the conversation of dead people, Okay?

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Now... the story begins around during the thirty years war...

Spain was busy with the thirty years war... and that is when France interrupted...

France was like "Don't have fun without me~"

This intervention led to the Franco-Spanish war.. cuz Spain was pissed off with France trying to grope him in the battle field... he had enough problem in his own hand for god sake..

The result of the thirty years war...

Germany was divided to many territories and the limited power of the Holy Roman Empire

don't look at it seriously...

just imagine they all live in a big, big house and started drawing lines all around the floor and ceiling.. HRE was "clean up all this mess!" all day long but unfortunately ignored by his brothers...

which resulted in mental exhaustion for the young empire...

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Since it was like France to attack the weak...

**France: no I'm not!**

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... Since it was like France to attack the weak... he launch a war at the poor empire...

HRE was doing fine actually at first.. the reason why he lost is...

_-flashback-_

_France: aahhh~~ I'm getting all sweaty..._

_HRE: its a war... of course you will.._

_France:*strip off clothes*_

_HRE: 0o0 !_

_France: now, lets continue mon cherie~~_

_HRE: mein gott! I can't take this anymore!_

**France: i still don't get it what's wrong with him...**

...

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When the german brothers got back to their home (read: HRE) after doing to the pub...

Well...

They never _did_ get home...

Cuz there's no _home_ to go back to...

... only pieces of the walls that was once their (read: HRE) home...

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At first, they were too lazy to rebuild it... but soon they found out that sleeping under the stars won't be so fun if its raining...

or snowing...

...or when some certain wild creatures think your sleeping bag is a public toilet...

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...

So... yeah, they rebuilt it...

When they were at the last step in combining the north wing with the south wing of the house..

(do not question the German architecture)

The naturally troublesome Prussia had a fight with Austria and wreck havoc in their new (what it suppose to be) house..

Prussia had step and crushed their dreams into tiny, tiny insignificant pieces with no guilt or any sign of an existing heart...

...so, they were like "that's it! We give up!"

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Seeing his brothers ignoring his awesomeness (not that they had ever given any interest to it in the first place)...

And not to mention that they kicked him out when he want to drink beer with them...

_Prussia: i...i don't care... its fun being alone anyway.. ha... hahaha..._

... for once in a life time... Prussia felt guilty...

Well... not actually guilty... but more of a I-don't-want-them-to-leave-me-alone kind of feeling

**Prussia: That's sooo not true!**

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He want to make up with trying to fix the (what is suppose to be) house...

**Prussia: i **_**don't**_** feel guilty and i was **_**not**_** trying to make up! I just wanna show them how awesome i am!**

But he don't have any money...

**Prussia: HEY!**

... nor a job...

**Prussia: i'm too awesome for a job!**

So he attacked *cough*robbed*cough* France...

...and he was the reason that their (read: HRE) house was destroyed in the first place...

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And _that_ is how Germany was built...

_-flashback-_

_Bavaria: why did you excluded Austria?_

_Prussia: cuz he's not Awesome!_

_Bavaria: ..._

_Hesse: just... let it go... he's in charge anyway... we lost in scissor paper rock..._

_Prussia: come on! Lets get BEER!_

_*after 3 hours of beer, blood, bandages, and red underwear(?)*_

_(_knock, knock_)_

_Prussia: the-hic- awesome me...-hic- gettit...*open door*_

_?: guten tag... do you want to buy some cook—PANG!_

_Bavaria: MEIN GOTT Prussia! Why did you hit that kid? (and you spilled some beer dammit)_

_Prussia: he... -hic- looked familiar..._

_Hesse:...true... he looked like HRE..._

_Bavaria: ach! He's bleeding! Pull him in before somebody notice!_

_Prussia: i wonder -hic- if this will get -hic- into his head..._

_Bavaria: don't pour beer on his (already bleeding) head!_

_Hesse: hey, cookies!_

_*more beer, blood, bandages and (this time) cookies later...*_

_?: *wakes up*_

_Prussia: hey there little fella!_

_?: ...?_

_Bavaria: sorry about that... (why _I'm_ the one apologizing?)you okay?_

_?: ... guess so..._

_Hesse: we'll get you home.. what's your name?_

_?: ... I... can't remember.._

_*silence*_

_Prussia, Bavaria, Hesse: *huddle up together at the corner of room*_

_Bavaria: this. Is. All. Your. Fault!_

_Prussia: how're we gonna get him home now?_

_Hesse: put up posters? Send him to the police? Sell him to the pirates?_

_Bavaria: ...?... no.. how're we suppose to explain about his amnesia and that wound anyway?_

_Prussia: yeah... no choice, we have to keep him_

_Hesse: what if somebody know him?_

_Bavaria: dye his hair blond..._

_Prussia: great.. now he really _does _look like HRE_

_Hesse: then.. we tell the other nation he's our brother?_

_Bavaria: looks like it... we just unified Germany anyway.._

_Prussia: WAIT! You mean he's..._

_Bavaria: *glares at prussia* it _will_ look weird if our... '_brother'..._ started aging like normal.._

_Prussia: but! then I-_

_Hesse: gotta admit, its your fault_

_Prussia: *sweatdrop*_

_Bavaria: you owe that kid big time! he'll be the empire and you'll take care of him!_

_Prussia:... can... i... can i still call it the Awesomely Prussia empire?_

_Bavaria: (thank gott, that kid is a blessing!)NO!_

_*turn around to the kid*_

_Bavaria: i'll get the dye from my room..._

_Hesse: how does he have a dye when he's already blond?_

_Prussia: *bad mood* who cares! Kid! Guess who i am!_

_?: uummm.. father?_

_Prussia: tough chance! I'm too awesome to be-_

_?: mother?_

_Prussia: ... *thinking*..._

_Hesse: No... this here is Prussia... he's your brother_

_?: i call you bruder then?_

_Prussia: ... (that feels awesome)... how come _you_ never called me bruder? *Hurt*_

_Hesse: you're my brother?_

_Bavaria: *comes in* got the dye!_

_*several minutes and a lot of mess later...*_

_Prussia: man! You look awesome west!_

_?: ... thanks?... (west?)_

_Bavaria: *whisper* what got _him_ in a good mood? *whisper*_

_Hesse: he's _Prussia_... do i need to answer?_

_?: so... what's my name?_

_Prussia: Prussia junior!_

_Hesse: (that's stupid) Rhine..._

_Bavaria: (what?) __Weizenbier _***white beer***

_Prussia & Hesse: ?_

_*lets just skip this part to where Prussia is left alone with Germany to teach him... stuff*_

_Prussia: okay! First thing first! I'm the most awesome being in the whole world!_

_Germany: but bruder Hesse said i shouldn't believe that..._

_Prussia: what? (since when did...) *sigh* now what am i gonna teach you..._

_Germany: can i know where's my room?_

_Prussia: (shit! He don't _have_ a room yet) ye.. yeah, sure *shove Germany a potato, a wrust and a can of beer* this is potato, wrust and beer... say it again and again while i (find a room in this f_ing maze house) carry you there..._

_Germany: sure... i guess... potato.. wrust... beer..._

_Prussia: *carry Germany like a potato sack* (dammit... i still dunno where kitchen is...) *open random door*_

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_*after several doors and reciting potato ,wrust and beer for 102 times*_

_Prussia: (if its another stupid toilet i'm gonna-) woah... _

_Germany: potato... what is it?_

_Prussia: never knew there's a library here..._

_(_Prussia's mobile rang_)... _why is there a mobile phone at that time? Oh yeah.. bcuz its Prussia, duh..

_Prussia: hello... Spain!... pub? Sure! *shove Germany into library and ran off to pub*_

_Germany: huh... *pick up book titled 'dogs'* may as well read..._

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_And later... Austria was going to the library to pick up some recipe books when he saw..._

_A boy..._

_Meanwhile, at the pub..._

_Prussia: where is that stupid f- oh, here it is. Hello!... oh, hey spec! Calling to beg me so that-... i see you met west... duh, i know him... what's wrong with me leaving him for a few... wait a bit, SPAIN! What's the time?_

_Spain: uuhhh... 12!_

_Prussia: 6 hours, not _that_ long... yes, Bavaria do know about this... HE WHAT?... yeah, yeah, i heard you the first time! Awesome!... what do you mean what do i mean? of course its awesome! how many beer did he drink?... *gaped*gott, he made me proud to be blood related with him ... ? ... HE'S NOT MY ILLEGAL CHILD YOU WIMPY ARISTOCRAT!_

_-end-of-flashbask-_

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hence, Austria took back the little Germany home. He thought him something more necessary like baking cakes and cleanliness... that is until Prussia burst into his house and went like "what are you doing to my awesome brother?" "saving him from you!" "no west, no! Dammit specs! You made him unawesome!"...

when those two turned... Germany was gone

... and later, for some mysterious reason, it was Hungary who brought him home...

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And now, for the bad friends trio theory...

Of course they're naturally the same in their... idiocity

**Prussia, France, Spain: Hey!**

But the origin of their friendship varies with each member...

[Spain]

He still had a grudge on France for the Franco-Spanish war... it had cause him a good damn trouble... thus, he teamed up with Prussia to take revenge... together, they forced France to spit out his military secret and did many horrible things (imagine it yourself) to him while he was drunk...

**France: *gasp*!**

[Prussia]

He thinks that vengeance is something awesome, so... why not? Besides, its fun to mess with somebody especially the part when-... wait, can't tell about _that_... well, he sticked to France cuz his food is awesome enough to receive his praises..

**France: no!**

[France]

... nothing to say about him... he just want to... 'share his love'...

**France: see... I'm really honest about our relationship.. *sob***

**Spain: eehhh? What relationship?**

**Prussia: don't make me throw up your food..**

**France: ! How Could You!**

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**I love the bad friends trio... honest!**


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